OPINION: Jumping for joy in the Josh pit
JOSH, maaate. Thanks for the handout.
We battlers have been busting to renovate the fibro and with $25 big ones we're going to town, and Bunnings.
First room off the rank is always the bathroom. An indoor dunny would be so luxurious.
$15k should do it, or $17k including a fancy Aussie Issy mirror. What's a lazy $2000 on a mirror when Josh is giving you $25 thou'?
Righto, kitchen next. Better allow $35k to go the whole hog if you want to cook a whole hog.
A La Cornue Grand Palais at $48 grand might blow the budget but a lovely looking Lancanche at a lazy $11,000 should slip under the radar without needing another payday loan. Now we're cooking.
Time to dress up the barbecue area, formerly known as the back yard. Herringbone pavers, 10metre square pergola with a Jørn Utzen barbecue will be a barbecue stopper, and a fire pit (called Josh) will still leave enough left over from the $25k budget for a magnum of Bundy and a carton of VB.
We're cookin' everywhere now but still only halfway to qualifying for entry to the Josh pit.
Next, a lounge room-cum-home cinema. Fancy fireplace, 100 inch, 8k TV with a Bang and Olufsen sound bar and a real bar like mum and dad had in 1970. A bargain at $20 thousand, including five years of Fox and Netflix.
Time to get serious and get it on in the master suite. Maybe a circular King-sized bed with Egyptian linen. Couple of stone lion heads either side of the bedhead?
Some bling like giant wooden letters that spell D.R.E.A.M.?
Struth, spending that much it should spell C.A.S.H.!
Cool and a snip at another $25 thousand which is better value and hurt less than the last bedroom snip.
Bugger, we're still only up to $120k, how do we get that up to the $150k Josh-hold?
Easy. A cellar. Digging dirt is exxy, $30 grand easy. Cool and we could buy two cartons of Hill of Grace or Grange with the Josh dosh.
Or 20-30 cartons of any of these…thanks Josh, bugger public housing, right on the money this time, maaate.