A FENCE OFFENCE: The final word on graffiti
GRAFFITI is funny, well, specially when it's funny, like the things you read on the walls of universities like "I'd give me right arm to be ambidextrous' or "Free Nelson Mandela", to which some wag added "Bishop Tutu 25 per cent off".
However it's a different matter when it's in your own neighbourhood, or worse, your own fence, notwithstanding that most modern graffiti, while bright and stylish, is completely unintelligible to anyone over 18, if indeed there's a message in it at all.
Take our fence. The artwork is not unattractive, and to be honest it's probably lifted the standard of our face to the world a notch. The fence itself is that dreadful shade of heritage green that was popular, um, probably never, so the artist at least did us a favour and used as complimentary a colour as one possibly could, a rather fetching and patriotic gold hue.
Appealing as it was, I couldn't read it, a fact which invoked great hilarity and superiority in Ms L, who deciphered it immediately, as did everyone else under 25.
The fact that none of our ageing neighbours could understand it either was little comfort, although one offered the helpful advice that the previous owners had painted the fence in graffiti proof paint. Haha, money well spent.
So what do we do?
By doing nothing do we upset the neighbourhood by being less house proud than the precinct expects? More than one nearby resident has already asked when we're going to wash it off.
But it seems rude to wash someone's art away even if that is made easier by fancy paint. Will the artist take offence (or a fence) thus inspiring a more determined, less attractive attack?
If we leave it will that likewise encourage and incite more artists to leave their moniker or tag?
Will they all be as respectful to the ghastly anachronistic canvas?
Should we commission emerging artists as a funding measure to promote the arts generally, specially given that no government is prepared to do it?
Should we sell the space to funky advertising?
Should we just put 'Banksy' beneath it? Maybe someone will steal it and we'll claim a new fence under insurance and buy some bubbles to celebrate?
Yarrawood Yarra Valley Cellar Release Cabernet Sauvignon 2018. Cellar Release implies a lesser being than, say, Special Reserve, but this is a cracker. Imagine what the Special Reserve is like if they have one? 9.4/10.
Yarrawood Yarra Valley Cellar Release Shiraz 2018. This is almost as special as its Cabernet brethren, vive la (yarra) valley and their cellars! 9.3/10.
Zema Estate Coonawarra Family Selection Cabernet Sauvignon 2016, $42. If this is what the Zema family are drinking every night, they're doing alright, and why shouldn't they? 9.4/10.
Zema Estate Coonawarra Rosé (Shiraz) 2020, $18. You don't see too many shiraz rosés which is maybe why this is much more cherry coloured and characterful than previous vintages? The pink almost matches the label perfectly. 9.1/10.
Scarpantoni McLaren Vale Brothers' Block Cabernet Sauvignon 2013, $35. A label brave enough to use an apostrophe is admirable, and commendable when they get it right…although how would you know? Lovely, soft, older stuff, thanks Bro(s). 9.4/10.
Scarpantoni McLaren Vale School Block (Sauvignon Blanc Semillon and Chenin Blanc), 2019, $14. Doesn't say what varieties on the front label but you know straight away it's a classic mix and almost like an old friend with just the right amount of sweet and sour and great value. 9.2/10.